What is YOUR Love Language?
One of the most interesting and helpful books I have ever read is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In his book, Dr. Chapman explains what he calls “five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.”
We all give and receive love in different ways.
Dr. Chapman lists the 5 primary love languages as:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Sure. I love compliments, just like most of us. But if you tell me I look lovely, and I know my hair is sticking up in a gazillion directions, my clothes have paint or sawdust or dirt on them, and I haven’t even washed my face for the day, I will pretty much think you are delusional. My husband says those things don’t matter, and he still sees the real me underneath all of that. Yeah.. I do like that, but still….it’s not my love language.
Yes, I like it but only because it’s usually doing something fun. Spending more time with someone, even though it’s quality time, doesn’t make me feel more or less loved.
Okay, sure. Who doesn’t like receiving gifts? But I’ll feel just as loved (or not loved) by you, even if you give me gifts.
Physical Touch: (This is #5, but I’m saving #4 for last).
Hugs, kisses, a rub on the arm… if I know you, it’s wonderful. If I don’t, I’ll shake your hand and feel very happy about doing so.
Acts of Service:
Yes! This is my Love Language. Trim my rose bushes for me, sweep the floor, do anything for me that means I don’t have to do it, and you’ve got me wrapped around your finger.
Figuring it all out:
It took a while for my husband and me to figure all of this out. But my husband definitely knows my love language. I was just in the kitchen and noticed that he had filled up the empty napkin holder.
He always stocks the toilet paper holder, fills my car up with gas (without my asking him to), brings my car from the garage (which is down the hill) up to the front door whenever I have to go somewhere, and even turns on the air conditioner or heater for me. And there are so many more. These are little things to some people, but BIG things to me. They tell me he is thinking of me and trying to make my life, my day, easier.
And one more thing….every day, he always throws away the Crystal Light wrappers that I leave on the kitchen counter. And, yeah, I actually do leave them there for him to throw away, because it makes me smile – and feel loved – when I come back and see that they are gone.
What’s your Love Language?